Ok I found a loophole for the stonewalling, can’t believe I didn’t think of it earlier actually. Just dropped another $99 and set up a brand new Developer Membership on a different identity. In my case that was easy because the locked account is on a Delaware C Corp and I had never actually used my personal identity for a Developer Membership before, so I had an unused identity so to speak.
From the brand new dev account, I could access the callback system and got a call within 30 seconds. The dev support person confirmed that the corporate account is locked, and she said there are no notes at all as to why it is locked, and she also said that the tickets I’ve been submitting on that account do not appear anywhere in the system that she has access to. She is escalating the ticket to more senior people that may be able to see something she can’t. So no solution yet, but at least I have a way to get answers and make progress.
If anyone else ever finds their account in this extremely screwed up state and they’re locked out and their tickets are getting lost in the matrix, it has nothing to do with Apple saving money on phone support, so if anyone ever gives you that advice they don’t actually have any idea what they’re talking about and you will be submitting tickets until the end of time with no response. Creating a brand new Developer Membership however will get you around the stonewall.